The Lord is funny isn't He?
When I thought I didn't need to blog about Joseph anymore, God knew I would need to after reading this letter........
I hope you are having a good night so far. I needed to update you on some things about Joseph. This is a hard note for me to write and I wish we could sit down face to face over coffee rather than communicate over email. So, a lot has happened in the past few weeks that I'll explain more about, but it looks like we are not going to be able to go through with the adoption process with Joseph. I know this is really hard news to get especially since you love Joseph and have worked with such passion to help find him a family. I soooo wish we weren't writing this to you.
We have a close family member who has has become very critically ill. It has been overwhelming and his illness has played a part in our decision. We want to make sure that we are fully available to him now and long term as we are unsure about the prognosis and we know he will need support as time goes on. We wonder if the Lord was using this in the middle of the adoption process to lead us in another direction.
We had to cancel the April 16th home study appointment anyways because we didn't have enough money for it. We wondered if the Lord was beginning to lead us away from this because it didn't seem like He was providing the means to go through with the home study.
For many years, we also have felt a calling to the mission field and wonder if it is realistic to think that could adopt Joseph with his many medical needs and still be able to go where the Lord has called us as a family. We wrestled with it when we first heard of Joseph, but decided to go forward with pursuing Joseph, but as time goes on, it doesn't seem that the two callings can work together. So, how do we decide which is our calling? That is a tough question that I am still wrestling through. But, with all of the immediate issues going on, it seems right to stop the adoption process.
I can definitely tell you that this has been a really sad and painful time for us as we make this decision. It's not one that there is a lot of "peace" involved, just a simple knowledge that we felt a decision had to be made and that there is where we feel the Lord leading us. To be honest, it is still very confusing why we were so drawn to Joseph in the first place. We are still processing through it and I don't know if I'll ever understand. I am very disappointed that I won't get to be Joseph's mom. I still want him to have a family very badly. I can only trust in the promises from the Word that God's ways that are higher than our ways and that He isn't a God of confusion, but a God of peace. We need to find peace in who He is and that He has compassion on Joseph and has a plan for him even when it hurts so much to feel like we are being taken out of that plan. We are praying for Joseph and we are thankful for the day that Jesus will make all the wrongs in this world right and that Joseph won't be an orphan in Heaven. We are thankful that this fallen world is not our home forever.
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Rom. 8:28)
" For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11)
God knows the desires of your heart. He understands that you so desperately want a family but you have to wait for his perfect timing. I (Melissa) thought I was done with this blog but that wasn't God's plan.
Just remember you are loved and if the Lord wants for you to have a family, HE WILL MAKE A WAY.
Love you little brother,
Well it is time to keep blogging about a family for Joseph. Please keep him in your prayers. Pray also that the Lord will lead a family into adopting him.
Time is ticking: He turns 14 on May 8, 2013.